Feb 26th....3 years ago.

Today marks 3 years since we lost my brother to metastatic melanoma. I just wanted to pause for a minute and reflect on how things have changed since that traumatic and horrible night- the night I got "the call".
When I got "the call", it was about 7:30pm on a Friday night. I was roughly 35 weeks pregnant, and I had just got done having Andy take some pictures of me and Abbie in the kitchen- my huge belly taking up so much room! Everything was great, we were preparing for a new baby. Two days earlier, my brother and mom had gotten the "all clear" from the doctor- Thanks to radiation, Dylan's tumors were in remission and he showed no signs of new cancer growth anywhere else in his body. So the world was happy and bright and full of promise. Little did any of us know that he had quietly passed away the night before, and was waiting to be found by our poor mom. Oh how things have changed since then.
For one, we have two new little people in our family. Adelaide was born 3 weeks after he passed away, and Riley joined our family (born to Stephanie and Woody) about 2.5 years later. I would be lying if I said that I didn't feel these little people have been ripped off from knowing their uncle...they will never get to hear him call them "munchkin" or have him sweep them up for big hugs- they will never experience the excitement of hearing his Harley roar up the driveway at Grandmas.. they will never know what Uncle Dylan was like when he was alive, like my other kids do.
Another thing that has changed is the relationship between our remaining siblings. We have formed a much stronger bond to each other and for that, I'm grateful. It has made us realize that there is nothing like family, and reminds us to never take each other for granted. I am thankful for the opportunity to be a part of my sisters' lives and now, in their children's life (Steph is the only one to have any kids so far).
Since Dylan passed away, I have learned about end of life care issues, and have read a lot about life-after-death. I used to consider myself an atheist, but now I'm not so sure. I'm convinced there is something after death, even if it's only that I'm grasping at straws to help me cope with Dylan's death. I'm okay with that :)
I could write a book on things that have changed since I lost my brother, but I wont. I think I'm finally past the "it's so unfair" angry stage, and have arrived at the "sad and always missing him-but accepting that he's gone" stage. It is what it is, and I can't change it or bring him back. So today and every day, I choose to strive for telling my loved ones how much they mean to me, and focus on appreciating each day that I have with the ones that mean the most to me.

Rest in Peace little brother- til' we meet again!

Oct 18th 1979~ February 26th 2010

February is halfway over!

Where has the time gone? It is halfway through February already. Everyone is doing well at our house, aside from the minor colds that get passed around. Tomorrow Elsa will get her retainer off (yay!) and Ava will begin the process of getting hers on. So far, Abby and the twins have all needed orthodontic work- hoping that not all 5 kids will need it. The twins will both need braces as well as the retainer for correcting side/over bites. The fun and expenses of a large family never end ;)
Work is going well. I had experienced a rough start on my shift with a particular individual, but all of the troubling things that were happening have stopped. I'm not sure if someone said something to this co-worker, and I don't care. I'm just glad it's not happening anymore. That is why I deleted my earlier post about it.
Andy is going through a lot of changes at work as well. We have lost our plant manager to another company, and a sizable change in management is happening. He is looking seriously at other job opportunities around the country. I suspect (as I have for a couple of years) that we will not be in Othello for the long-term. If the right job offer comes along, I can say with certainty that we will be relocating. Of course I will update when/if anything starts to materialize.

Spring is in the air here in Othello already. I have the itch to start gardening again, and I have several landscaping projects I'd like to start on. And if we need to sell the house, having decent landscaping in the front and back will only help to sell the house, so I feel even more determined to start working on the yard. I am excited! It's been a few years since I have had the energy/money to invest in these types of things. Now if I can just find the time :)